


Don’t Go Where I Can’t Follow

by baleinek



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blood and Injury, F/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 20:27:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11134140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baleinek/pseuds/baleinek
Summary: They had known each other for years. And loved each other half the time.And they will be there for one another no matter what.





	Don’t Go Where I Can’t Follow

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: suicide attempt.

The blood was dripping from her hand. The metallic smell filled her nose and she couldn’t help but to feel nauseated. The red liquid was everywhere making it eerily beautiful against the white tiles of the bathroom floor. Panic slowly arose in her heart and she struggled to keep breathing. She knew, she knew she had to do something, anything. Her brain was screaming at her, to stop panicking and get up; but her body just wouldn’t listen.

“Hmm hmh…”

A sharp breath was heard and she snapped her head towards the direction of the sound. The once lifeless body of her lover was suddenly showing sign of vitality, chest rising and falling. For a moment, she couldn’t comprehend what was happening so instead of doing something she stared on. Another sharp breath was heard, pulling her out of her own dazed state. She scrambled towards him and seeing him close up for the first time since she discovered the scene. His face was as pale as the white tiles he was sitting on and his lips were a shade of ghost white. Breath came out of him unevenly, exhaling and inhaling at a random rhythm, sounding like a strange but enchanting song. She looked at him; a part of her was glad that he was still breathing, the other part remained panic as she wasn’t exactly trained for emergency like this. Now she wished she had paid more attention in all those emergency special classes years back during high school but life was all about unpredictability, wasn’t it?

“Hey, sweetie. Can you hear me? It’s me, Jean.” She called out to him, hopeful for some response; maybe even telling her what to do, like he always did.

Nothing came out of her boyfriend except for the slow and hiccup breathing. His eyes were shut tight and face seemed even paler than before, if that was possible. The source of all these – pain, chaos, misery – was glaringly looking at her, as if mocking her inability to save the situation. Life seeped away from the man as blood spilled slowly but steadily from it, a gaping wound on his left wrist.

Maybe it was God, maybe it was her logical mind finally decided to pull its head out of its ass; she somehow figured out that she needed to stop the bleeding.  She found a towel abandoned in the sink and tied it around the opening, applying pressure on the wound. Blood stopped its flow, staining the towel now instead. Realising that she should also get help, she quickly pulled out her phone and punched in the emergency line’s number. Once she was sure the help was on the way, she sighed with relief and was glad that as panic as she was, it didn’t ruin her this time, unlike previous countless incidents where she would just crashed and burnt.

The bathroom was quiet, the shallow and inconsistent breathing of her lover being the only noise. It was too quiet and she could feel panic started to plague her mind again. She quickly stood, pacing back and forth, attempting to calm her nerve and that was when she heard it.

“Jean…” She turned her head at the call of her name and was surprised to see her boyfriend’s eyes opened, ever so slightly.

“Liam, you’re awake! How do you feel?” She rushed to his side and cupped his face gently.

“I’m… Sor… Sorry…” Liam fought to get the words out.

“Hey, no, don’t say that, baby. Just, please be okay. Help is on the way, you’re gonna be fine.” Jean tried to reassure him even if she wasn’t so positive herself.

With a shuddering breath, Liam tried his best to open his eyes wider to look at her.

“I… I just couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t think I would see you again. I’m so sorry... For everything…” Tears found its way down his cheek as he whispered.

“Oh, Liam. Please… You should stop talking. Just focus on breathing. No matter what it is, I forgive you. It’s okay Liam. Everything is gonna be okay.” She said as her thumb harassed his cheekbone gently and wiped off his tears. She looked at the face of her lover, taking in the view, etching it into her mind. Even with his current state, he was still the stunningly good looking man that she had come to know many years ago. And underneath that, was the most beautiful soul she had ever seen and had the honour to love.

“Don’t go where I can’t follow, Liam. I love you with what my being is capable of, but please, don’t go where I can’t follow.” She added as if an afterthought. Moving to his side, she cradled him so that his head fell onto her shoulder. Liam leaned into the gesture, positioning himself further into the crook of her neck.

Things were silent for a while. Liam did just what Jean asked him to and tried his hardest to stay alive and Jean, Jean just sat in the same position as before, seemingly deep in thought. And then she was not.

“Liam. Maybe I don’t tell you enough because I’m just a horrible human being. But I want you to know that even though I’m not good, no, I’m terrible at loving someone; I love you. More than I thought I could and I’m really glad that I do, because loving you was the best thing I have ever done and I never regret a day of it.”

It took her effort to say these out loud and she wished that she had done it sooner, not at the deathbed of her lover; but better late than never huh?

“Jean… I know that. And please know that I feel the same way even though I did this…” He trailed off, knowing that she would understand what he meant.

The corners of her lips turned upwards in spite of herself. That was it, the way they understood each other without words, the way they trusted each other without hesitation, the way they know each other inside out. It was something they had built over the years; a connection, a bond so deep that, sometimes it surprised themselves. It was not easy for her to accept that there was someone who knew her so well but loved her all the same because she wouldn’t love someone like her. She knew she was not easy to love.

“Hey, Liam. Know that I don’t judge you for this. It is wrong but I understand. Being trapped in your own head and seeing no way out can do this to you.” She needed him to know this, that no one could judge him. Not when they didn’t know shit about his pain and suffering and how crushing they were.

“Thank you… Of everyone, I knew you would understand. But still that doesn’t make me right, Jean, I’m sorry…” He said it with a smile so small that it would slip past her if she didn’t pay close attention. She squeezed his shoulder lightly in return, comforting him the best way she knew how, by letting him know that she would always be there no matter what happened.

Time ticked by, seconds stretched into minutes and more. It was true when they said time was relative because the minutes passed felt hours long. Liam’s breathing was ragged still but at least the bleeding seemed to be under control. But he was still losing blood and had lost more than he should. Jean knew she had to be strong for him but she couldn’t stop the anxiety rising in her heart as time passed. Fortunately, the paramedic arrived soon enough and took care of Liam right away. She stayed by him the whole time and only left when she didn’t want to get in the way.

She could literally felt the weight in her heart lifted when the doctor informed her that Liam was going to be okay. As relief came over her, her legs started to give out. Feeling weak, she sat at the entrance of the emergency room and couldn’t be anymore grateful in her life. She knew there were still lots of things that needed to be sorted out but for now, this was enough.


End file.
